August 26, 2017 thirstythespian

Excitable but out-of-shape runner burns all energy on the way to running partner’s house

August 12, 2017August 12, 2017 thirstythespian

After hours of deliberation, restaurant patron settles on “the usual”

August 5, 2017August 5, 2017 thirstythespian

Local insane man uses Facebook marketplace feature to sell “Escaping Ideology Lessons,” attracts unexpected celebrity student

March 5, 2017 thirstythespian

Impatient man traumatizes student driver as target of road rage

February 20, 2017February 21, 2017 thirstythespian

The Thirsty Thespian honors its Centennial as “America’s most trusted source in entertainment”

December 14, 2016December 14, 2016 thirstythespian

Local clubbin’ man can’t stop pumping fist

December 6, 2016 thirstythespian

Man “fudging the truth” on first date can’t seem to figure out the right things to lie about

December 2, 2016December 2, 2016 thirstythespian

Man stopped by “literally every goddamn fucking stoplight” of evening commute becoming suddenly hyper-aware, critical of life decisions

November 9, 2016 thirstythespian

Son of local man who battered fellow voter insists father’s “heart is in the right place”

October 20, 2016October 21, 2016 thirstythespian

Local Man, Donald J., invents new handy appliance: ISIS VAC