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Author: thirstythespian

The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
2 weeks ago January 14, 2021January 14, 2021thirstythespian

Apple finally solves iOS battery issues with new innovative product

December 15, 2020December 15, 2020thirstythespian

Universal announces Fast & Furious Rom-Com Spinoff: The Flaccid & The Furious

December 9, 2020December 9, 2020thirstythespian

Still convinced he won the election, Donald Trump unrolls comprehensive agenda for 2nd term: “I’m going to make sweet love to this big beautiful flag!”

December 9, 2020December 9, 2020thirstythespian

Bob Dylan sells musical catalog to record company in exchange for poultry farm, sack of potatoes: “I’m going into the chicken business!”

November 6, 2020November 6, 2020thirstythespian

Trump Campaign sues for “meaningful access” to Democratic voters

May 6, 2020May 6, 2020thirstythespian

Local gunslinger’s COVID-19 protective face mask just bandana

March 17, 2020March 17, 2020thirstythespian

Nation’s cats unhappy with COVID-19 work-from-home state

March 7, 2020March 7, 2020thirstythespian

Area scrawny man delusional about sculpted physique

March 7, 2020March 7, 2020thirstythespian

Practical Tips for Academics on the Job Market (Successful Example Interview Transcript Included)

March 7, 2020March 7, 2020thirstythespian

How to politely decline a handshake

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