Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
Melodic metalcore band leader of The Ghost Inside abruptly disbands group to start toaster business
Outlaw motorcycle club walks back “nomad” charter policy, leading to intense standoff, fire fight
Wielding katana, Donald Trump feeds himself to whale, attempting to evade prosecution (Developing Story)
After leaving Twitter, Jack Dorsey looking forward to finally going on tour with his neglected rock band Baroness
Locals chime in about “dumbass” living in van
John Mayer releases first single, “Wild Poo,” off his album Slob Rock
Marvel Studios announces spinoff franchise, the ‘Itsy-Bitsy Spider-Man,” taps Danny DeVito to portray shorter statured “Donald” Parker
Area salesperson carries out 1-way, increasingly desperate conversation with prospect
The Thirsty Thespian 