Mundelein, IL–A small area marketing agency, whose president instructed his employees to write Linkedin recommendations for fellow employees in an effort to demonstrate credibility to prospective clients, has reported one small caveat of the exercise: while the exercise has proven exceptionally successful in boosting employee morale, the level of productivity among the agency’s employees has since sharply declined, due to the number of tears shed in response to the heartfelt recommendations. “I gotta hand it to them,” agency president Sid Lobetovsky told Thirsty Thespian reporters. “When I told them to write each other recommendations, I imaged halfhearted participation, general reluctance. But the results are shocking. Tear-jerking stuff. And that’s the problem! For instance, a recommendation my secretary Suzie wrote for me yesterday moved me to tears, and I was sobbing for a good 20 minutes. I mean, for Christ’s sake, it was only about a short paragraph in length, but every word, she meant it. So heartfelt!” At press time, Lobetovsky was comforting agency vice president Eli Steinberger on having received a particularly genuine, profoundly moving recommendation from one of the agency’s copywriters which detailed, in great length, the tremendously inspirational, career-shaping, and life-affirming impact Steinberger’s leadership and mentoring has had: “Look, I know this is, like, Oprah or Dr. Phil-paralleling shit. But we should really prepare for that prospect meeting.” -TTT