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October 25, 2018October 25, 2018thirstythespian

After epic bender and unprecedented slumber, comatose man wakes up to cats eating him

October 11, 2018October 11, 2018thirstythespian

Read the Lyrics to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” Re-Transposed by Dave Jonze, as They Were Intended to Be Written

September 3, 2018September 3, 2018thirstythespian

Best restaurants/places to consume ideology: Macomb, IL

September 1, 2018September 1, 2018thirstythespian

M. Night Shyamalan announces controversial sequel to the Sixth Sense

May 5, 2018May 5, 2018thirstythespian

Suzuki reveals legendary maxi scooter actually marketed in US to burger-loving Americans

April 8, 2018April 8, 2018thirstythespian

“Karate Master” punches through plywood board, gets wicked splinter

April 1, 2018April 1, 2018thirstythespian

Visionworks competitor causing customer trauma

April 1, 2018April 1, 2018thirstythespian

The Thirsty Thespian editor, Local Insane Man, Accuses Bob Dylan of Stealing Excerpts from Unpublished Novel

April 1, 2018April 1, 2018thirstythespian

LEAKED Leonardo DiCaprio Sex Tape Already Developing Oscar Buzz

February 23, 2018February 23, 2018thirstythespian

Local binge drinker angry that friend’s voicemail box is full, unable to leave obnoxious drunk dial

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