The Thirsty Thespian

March 14, 2026 thirstythespian

Busy Juggalo Marketer Misidentifies Company’s “ICP”

March 8, 2026 thirstythespian

“Gimme my Oscar or Samwise Gamgee gets it,” says Chalamet, puzzlingly taking Sean Astin hostage

February 28, 2026 thirstythespian

Jackson Hole motorcycle enthusiast and movie review show host demands local business “Make Hog Viral” 

February 28, 2026 thirstythespian

Adrien Brody reportedly still giving post-Oscar speech alone backstage

February 28, 2026 thirstythespian

BREAKING: Scientists pleasure themselves to pictures of Uranus 

February 28, 2026 thirstythespian

Mike White in talks with “Skyrizi Tambourine Guy” for Origin Story in Next Season of White Lotus

February 25, 2025February 26, 2025 thirstythespian

Today’s News: Cook Now “Apple,” Musk Unwittingly Slaughters Crowd, Voters Incensed 

February 23, 2025 thirstythespian

Meryl Streep Wins Prestigious Award for Clogging Toilet at Airport Hilton  

February 22, 2025 thirstythespian

Emboldened by Trump, Kash Patel Weaponizes FBI to “Look Into This” Streetlight Manifesto

February 22, 2025 thirstythespian

Reinforcing Sweeping DEI Cuts, Trump Bans Female Gender, Non-White Races