Local binge drinker angry that friend’s voicemail box is full, unable to leave obnoxious drunk dial

Macomb, IL–An area binge drinker and technical writer has reportedly expressed disdain for the fact that his friend’s voicemail box remains full, inhibiting his ability to leave an obnoxious drunken rant for his friend to come upon in the light of day. Louis Margask told Thirsty Thespian reporters it had been “nostalgia” prompted from a Facebook memory, reminding him of the friendship’s start two years prior, that stimulated his attempt to reconnect. “Shaun… that asshole never listens to his voicemail. What if I had something epic to tell him? Couldn’t even leave a message!” Margask drunkenly lamented, not before letting out a gaseous belch, which he was admittedly relieved didn’t cause vomit. At press time, Margask conceded that the infrequency in communication from Shaun Gamill, who hadn’t yet been reached for a clarifying comment, as well as his refusal to keep his voicemail box vacant, was likely due to Gamill’s wish to inhibit the constant flow of communication from his drunken former classmate. -TTT

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