December 9, 2020December 9, 2020 thirstythespian

Still convinced he won the election, Donald Trump unrolls comprehensive agenda for 2nd term: “I’m going to make sweet love to this big beautiful flag!”

December 9, 2020December 9, 2020 thirstythespian

Bob Dylan sells musical catalog to record company in exchange for poultry farm, sack of potatoes: “I’m going into the chicken business!”

November 6, 2020November 6, 2020 thirstythespian

Trump Campaign sues for “meaningful access” to Democratic voters

May 6, 2020 thirstythespian

Local gunslinger’s COVID-19 protective face mask just bandana

March 17, 2020March 17, 2020 thirstythespian

Nation’s cats unhappy with COVID-19 work-from-home state

March 7, 2020 thirstythespian

Area scrawny man delusional about sculpted physique

February 25, 2020February 25, 2020 thirstythespian

Bernie Sanders to finance expensive proposals with proceeds from “chicken business”

February 14, 2020 thirstythespian

Local man who’s feeling cute but single planning to watch hardcore porn, violently masturbate on Valentine’s Day

January 7, 2020January 9, 2020 thirstythespian

Local man who is self-employed tells boss to “blow it out your ass!”

October 10, 2019October 10, 2019 thirstythespian

Local exec with new voluminous office eager to fart freely