The Thirsty Thespian

The Thirsty Thespian

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Author: thirstythespian

The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
February 23, 2018 thirstythespian

Local binge drinker angry that friend’s voicemail box is full, unable to leave obnoxious drunk dial

February 23, 2018 thirstythespian

Small company’s Linkedin recommendation exercise boosting employee morale but lowering productivity due to tears shed

January 25, 2018February 23, 2018 thirstythespian

Franco on Sexual Misconduct Allegations: “I did not hump her!”

January 25, 2018January 25, 2018 thirstythespian

The Thirsty Thespian Editor Awarded Trump’s ‘Terrific News’ Honor, “America’s greatest, realest, most good news writer”

December 3, 2017December 3, 2017 thirstythespian

Saganaki trend at area diner object of waitress’s contempt

December 2, 2017December 2, 2017 thirstythespian

Obstinate session drummer with unapologetic death metal influences unable to surmise why he can’t find work

October 29, 2017October 29, 2017 thirstythespian

Tommy Wiseau Dissatisfied with Franco’s “Disaster Artist,” to Remake The Room with Controversial Director

October 21, 2017October 21, 2017 thirstythespian

Disgruntled local former Wendy’s employee denies employment termination, claims quit over divisive company policies, restaurant “selling deep fried notions!”

September 16, 2017September 16, 2017 thirstythespian

Newly hired corporate officer doesn’t know where to fart in hip open office

August 26, 2017 thirstythespian

Excitable but out-of-shape runner burns all energy on the way to running partner’s house

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