HOLLYWOOD, CA–With a string of directorial missteps as befuddling as The Happening (2008) and as sacrilegious as The Last Airbender (2010), it’s arguable, and commendable, that returning to his thriller roots is what made M. Night Shyamalan’s 2017 film Split successful; and this argument seems especially credible considering his upcoming film Glass (2019), which is garnering much critical buzz, contains an elaborate crossover of the aforementioned film with his second-most critically acclaimed film of all time, Unbreakable (2000).

However, it would seem that M. Night Shyamalan’s attempts to pander to fans of his earlier works are not much more than a thinly veiled cash-grab, as leaked photos from the set of his newest project reveal an oddly off-putting direction of the sequel to his most successful, beloved film, The Sixth Sense (1999). The film, titled The Sixth Sense 2: A Sense for Love, would appear to not be continuing in the supernatural horror genre of its predecessor but, as an early, preliminary synopsis on IMDB reads (before the page was deleted by Shyamalan himself in a failed attempt to keep the film’s existence hidden): “a lighthearted romantic comedy with an unexpected twist 😉 ” That’s right, for whatever it’s worth, Shyamalan’s assistant included a winking face in the synopsis.

Shyamalan was ultimately reached by TTT journalists, and while at first cryptic, guarded, and withholding of any information pertaining to the film, he responded with this statement:

As a director and long-time consumer and appreciator of films, I’ve always admired, idolized Jerry Zucker’s 1990 masterpiece, Ghost, as both an impressive directorial feat in terms of being expertly executed, and as an actors’ movie–you know, it’s just classic Swayze! I remember when I first saw it in theaters with friends, while in film school at NYU. I kept re-playing that scene in my mind, where Patrick helps Demi Moore sculpt a vase on the potters’ wheel. So sensual, so hot! Such raw energy, captured on film; it’s what made me want to become a filmmaker!

I have drawn parallels from the premise of Zucker’s film to my own [film, The Sixth Sense]. You know, they’re both about dead people! And this is where I finally got the idea for The Sixth Sense 2… you know, what happens to those characters we’ve all grown to love after all these years.

Additionally, he described the premise of the film, and couldn’t resist revealing the first 30 seconds of the film: The film opens on Haley Joel Osment, reprising his iconic role as Cole Sears (now 30 years old), lying on a couch in his psychiatrist’s office and clutching a pink woven blanket as he parrots the iconic line: “I see dead people…”  A comedic pause follows, and the camera pans over to an aged Dr. Malcom Crowe (Bruce Willis, now 63) sitting at his desk, letting out a sigh. “Yes, Cole. We already went over this…”

“No, you don’t understand,” the 30-year-old basket case insists, clarifying: “I see dead people… and it turns me on!” after which the tune of The Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody” swells and the opening credits roll.

Our reporters were naturally confused (and simultaneously horrified) by this revelation, so we asked for a clarification. Shyamalan’s eccentric direction for the upcoming film, began to unravel, equally horrifyingly (WARNING: SPOILERS):

Cole Sear, now a 30-year-old accountant, has thus far been experiencing a tumultuous love life, a string of one-night-stands and failed relationships (due to his troubled past and ability to see dead people, the latter which has been so off-putting to many of his romantic partners), indicative of his inability to commit to a meaningful, long-term relationship. Down on his luck, Cole seeks out the help of a life coach, Matthew Silver (himself), an eccentric New York city street performer who insists Cole “love yourself!” before ultimately suggesting to contact his former psychiatrist, the ghost of Dr. Malcolm Crowe, by way of a seance, to resolve the root of his unnatural attraction to dead people. The pair strike up an unexpected romance and Silver, after a long impassioned, if inextricably disorienting, message (including appeals to “love each other! stick together! you’re in this together, whether you like it or not!”), suggests finding a “love portal,” a portal into a new dimension where Crowe is not dead and they can be free to be together.

Thus, Cole is tasked with having to track down the inventor of time travel, Dr. Emmett Brown–Christopher Lloyd, Back to the Future (1985)–in order to bring the film to a conclusion.

When asked about the feasibility of getting the rights for the Back to the Future crossover from Robert Zemeckis or securing Christopher Lloyd (now 79) to convincingly reprise his role, Shyamalan evaded a legitimate reply, vaguely discussing the possibility of animating Lloyd: “There’s a lot of really cool stuff you can do with CGI these days. Haven’t you seen all that badass shit we did in The Last Airbender?”

At press time, Shyamalan remarked on how “legendary” it would be to get Patrick Swayze for a small cameo as the bouncer at a night club the couple attends, failing to recall the late actor’s passing in 2009.

–TTT.