Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
Local clubbin’ man can’t stop pumping fist
Man “fudging the truth” on first date can’t seem to figure out the right things to lie about
Man stopped by “literally every goddamn fucking stoplight” of evening commute becoming suddenly hyper-aware, critical of life decisions
Son of local man who battered fellow voter insists father’s “heart is in the right place”
Local Man, Donald J., invents new handy appliance: ISIS VAC
ISIS VAC
Father more pleased with how good his tie job is than how son looks
Bob Dylan Wins Nobel Prize in Literature for Predicting the Rapture
The Thirsty Thespian 