Impatient man traumatizes student driver as target of road rage

McHenry, IL–A local impatient man, in an act of apparent “indiscriminate road rage,” traumatized local McHenry West sophomore Beth Taylor early Sunday afternoon. Taylor, a student driver preparing to take her driver’s examination at the Woodstock Secretary of State’s office this coming week, has apparently postponed her aspirations of driving indefinitely. Described by her mother as “inconsolable, a shadow of her former cheery self,” Taylor has experienced a sharp change in demeanor, aimlessly floating between rooms of the house in vacant expression. “She’s not my Bethy anymore,” Cynthia Taylor, Beth’s mother, told Thirsty Thespian reporters on the scene, tearing up and noticeably shaking. Dan DeValia, 38, a high-level executive for a pharmaceuticals company based out of Woodstock, and a known-hothead behind the wheel, apparently targeted his rage on Taylor alone. DeValia, who was heard shouting obscenities at Taylor as the young driver slowly made a right turn into a drugstore parking lot,  was unsympathetic of the clearly labeled “Student Driver” vehicle’s maneuvering, holding Taylor to a seemingly improbable standard considering her level of experience: “Learn how to drive, you moron!” The diatribe went on, with DeValia exhausting his criticism of Taylor’s inexperience: “Drive much, ya dumb-ass! Why don’t you take a driving lesson!” Upon passing Taylor’s vehicle, DeValia apparently hurled his McDonald’s Egg McMuffin sandwich at the other vehicle before adding an “imbecile!”