Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Leonardo DiCaprio discuss possibility of Hershey deal: Chocolate with bits of real raw bison
Bernie Sanders: “Win or lose, I’m going into the chicken business!” Discusses KFC lineage, plans to open “Chicago Fried Chicken”
Campaign photographer fired for taking overly “artistic, subjective,” lewd photos
Local maniac doesn’t wait turn at 4-way stop. Manhunt ensues
Overly-sentimental college graduate surprisingly refusing to leave town he once loathed
Trump watches X-Files, claims: “I will build a wall around Earth”
Local school administrator twiddles thumbs. Receives substantial raise.
PhD candidate leaves dissertation defense with black eye, bruises
The Thirsty Thespian 