April 30, 2016April 30, 2016 thirstythespian

Breaking News: Insane man known only as Crazy Dave cites James Franco as his teacher in escaping ideology

April 29, 2016 thirstythespian

In effort of being neighborly, local band makes “special brownies” for newly settled family

April 28, 2016April 28, 2016 thirstythespian

George Clooney announces departure from Clinton biopic for “ideal role” as Uncle Ben

April 27, 2016April 27, 2016 thirstythespian

Adam Sandler cast in new “high art,” nonsensical Paul Thomas Anderson film in hopes of saving actor’s career

April 27, 2016April 27, 2016 thirstythespian

Hemingway fan pissed that his “one true sentence” has not been accepted for publication anywhere

April 26, 2016 thirstythespian

Self-proclaimed philosopher ponders about why he can’t pay bills: “But what is a bill?” Forfeits residence

April 23, 2016April 23, 2016 thirstythespian

Lenny Abrahamson announces next film: “Room 2: The Rise of Denny”

April 22, 2016April 22, 2016 thirstythespian

Bob Dylan: “Re: Prince. The rapture is upon us!”

April 22, 2016 thirstythespian

Man worried college degree will ruin his rock n’ roll credibility, that he “threw his life away”

April 21, 2016 thirstythespian

Terrence Malick finally sees Wiseau’s The Room, calls it a “Masterpiece”