Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
Incubus’s Mike Einziger to attend graduate school, band on hiatus again to fans’ dismay
Tom Hooper announces next project: “Winston Churchill in Drag” starring Danny DeVito
Carly Fiorina: Donald Trump has “right” to incite violence, mosh pits at rallies. Calls for “white power”
Miley Cyrus announces upcoming release of new perfume “Scent of Ho.” Justin Bieber pre-orders first million bottles.
College graduate with mediocre grades is hired for “experience with adversity.” Is fired for not giving 110%
A flaccid David Duchovny drops out of X-Files: “It doesn’t turn me on anymore”
Papa John’s delivery driver fired for supporting competitor brand
Rammstein sues Trump for using song at rallies, Trump insists it’s his “theme song”
The Thirsty Thespian 