Written by Commie Dee, Freelance Writer.

Germany–Rammstein, German death metal band, are on the winning side of a court case based on intellectual property. The band’s “Du Hast” has been repeatedly used at Donald Trump functions–rallies, cocktail parties, brunches, baptisms, funerals–repeatedly, most recently following his recent success in the Super Tuesday primaries.

“We want nothing to do with him. We do not stand for what he stands for,” the band’s lead singer and harmonica player Till Lindermann told reporters Wednesday morning. “He is racist and mean-spirited and should be advised to stop using our song immediately.” Trump, who had recently come into fire for using songs by such artists as Aerosmith, R.E.M., and Neil Young at political events without permission, began using Rammstein’s  heavy metal number, “Du Hast,” again without approaching the band for permission first.

Nonetheless, Trump, whose frightening demagoguery and questionable racial views have been likened to those of dictators Adolf Hitler and Benito Musssolini, steadfastly refused to abide by their legal right to demand he not use their song, offensively reducing the band to their German roots when quoting the song to vocalize his steadfast “Nein!”

Despite being in the midst of a grueling supreme court battle with the band, among other court battles (such as being sued for fraud over Trump University), while simultaneously running for president, Trump refuses to stop using the song. In fact, the reported serial liar argues the complete opposite, that the band once pleaded for him to use their song: “I hadn’t met them previously. I wouldn’t know what they look like. But I received six or seven desperate calls from them insisting that I use their song at my rallies for publicity.” Trump went on, “I listened to their song. It was all right, had a decent beat, so I said, ‘what the hell, I’ll throw them a bone. I’ll use their song.’ I was feeling generous, because I’m a generous guy.”

What Trump forgets, or more likely what he knowingly attempts to conceal, is the true origin of his inclusion of the heavy metal anthem. Trump’s son, Donald, Jr., who has been embarrassed by his father’s campaign, questioning its stability and viability, has made a great effort to harm his father’s campaign. “I heard ‘Du Hast’ in gym class some 20 years ago, a real prick Ted Winters, the [censored] gym teacher, played it almost religiously. He’d make us run two laps whenever he felt like it by incoherently screaming ‘flaps!’, and making us lift weights afterwards…” He took a moment to compose himself, clearly troubled by the experience. “He was the abusive type, not unlike that band teacher in that movie that just came out, what was it called? You know, he’d throw weights at you if you didn’t lift enough.” He added, “Well, anyway, ‘Du Hast’ was his favorite song.”

Donald, Jr., laughing at his own recollection, continued, “It was a joke… I was like, ‘Dad, you should use this song, because it’ll get people all pumped up.’ And I played it for him, and it was everything I expected and more. He loved it, said ‘This song is great! I’m gonna make it HUGE.'”

Trump wasn’t wrong. The song’s aggressive, repetitive rhythm, which has been blasted through the speakers of arenas of Trump rallies, have perpetuated the behavior quintessential of Trump supportors: those unreasonable, disobliging high school classmates that would pick on the weak, stuffing them into lockers, and shouting obscenities during circumstances that deem doing so is inappropriate under the guise of “speaking one’s mind.” A Trump rally, Trump’s son confirmed, “is like a mosh pit at a metal show–no one is safe.” He added, “Kinda like how his presidency would have been.”

Trump, who announced that he was dropping out of the race yesterday morning, has nonetheless refused to stop using Rammstein’s song.  The serial contradictor contradicts himself once more in going back on his previous statement about the band making desperate appeals for him to use the song: “I like the song. It has a good rhythm. My son insists that it was written by some group called Rammstein. I hadn’t heard the name. I’ve never met them. But I can say with great certainty that I’m not sure if they actually wrote the song.”

He elaborated, “If I’m not mistaken, I had an idea for a song a ways back, and I fielded it out to some musicians. So, in a way, having been the principal investor, I was responsible for the song. They should be paying me. I should be suing them. They never asked me if they could rerecord the song to popularize and make money off of it.”

Trump insisted that “Du Hast,” written, recorded, and financed by Donald J. Trump, remains his theme song, the only appropriate one.

-Commie Dee.

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Commie Dee is a freelance writer for TTT. She is on staff at The New York Times, where she has earned awards for her shocking, timely exposés.
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