April 18, 2016April 18, 2016 thirstythespian

Underpaid area professor starts cult. Administration looks other way

April 15, 2016April 15, 2016 thirstythespian

Musician of Midwest-based band wets self in name of “rock n’ roll!”

April 11, 2016 thirstythespian

Rauner reportedly disciplines pesky Illinois budget, sends democrat colleagues to room without supper

April 7, 2016 thirstythespian

Manic graduate conference winner hired on as sole philosophy faculty member at local university

April 4, 2016 thirstythespian

Local man engrossed with Sophocles gradually losing sight

April 2, 2016April 14, 2016 thirstythespian

Insane man escapes penitentiary. Wins graduate literary conference for talking randomly

March 10, 2016March 24, 2016 thirstythespian

College graduate with mediocre grades is hired for “experience with adversity.” Is fired for not giving 110%

March 7, 2016March 24, 2016 thirstythespian

Papa John’s delivery driver fired for supporting competitor brand