Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
BREAKING: M. Night Shyamalan to Make New Biopic “Unbreakable: 20 Years Later” Starring Hank Schrader
BREAKING: Kleptomaniac Marie Schrader Doing Time at New Mexico Corrections
Local Subaru Owner Arrested for Unlocking Car with Key
Battered Trump statue reportedly replaced with wax figure of insane Macomb, IL area man
Apple finally solves iOS battery issues with new innovative product
Universal announces Fast & Furious Rom-Com Spinoff: The Flaccid & The Furious
Still convinced he won the election, Donald Trump unrolls comprehensive agenda for 2nd term: “I’m going to make sweet love to this big beautiful flag!”
Bob Dylan sells musical catalog to record company in exchange for poultry farm, sack of potatoes: “I’m going into the chicken business!”
