Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
How to politely decline a handshake
Bernie Sanders to finance expensive proposals with proceeds from “chicken business”
Disney in talks to acquire porn site to host “Palpatine Rises” sex series prequel to “Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker”
Local man who’s feeling cute but single planning to watch hardcore porn, violently masturbate on Valentine’s Day
Local man who is self-employed tells boss to “blow it out your ass!”
Local exec with new voluminous office eager to fart freely
Joker: A Matthew Silver Story
Autocorrect Fail: Local Italian chef clearly out of his element at interview for Linguistics job
