LOS ANGELES, CA–Controversial actor Adrien Brody, who is known for giving long, meandering awards acceptance speeches that never seem to arrive at their point on time, was seen by nosy neighbors Saturday morning grunting in his living room while curling his two Oscar trophies – one the actor earned in 2003 for Best Actor in a Leading Role for the Pianist, the other in 2025 for Best Actor in a Leading Role in The Brutalist. The storied actor watched playback of his Oscars speeches on his flatscreen TV – the first running for 3 minutes, 30 seconds, and the second running for 5 minutes, 40 seconds¹ – to apparently assess and strengthen both his physical and verbal endurance, while clutching his two 8.5 pound Oscar trophies and reportedly doing spirited bicep curls in a gray moisture-wicking workout shirt that was darkened and dampened in pools of sweat. “You can do better than that, Adrien, stay in the game,” he was heard shouting. “If the Australian bicycle kicking kangaroo can go for the gold only to come up short, you can go for longest speech on record,” Brody was heard pep-talking himself, as he prepared for his next record-breaking speech, which he had prophesied would last one full year.

-TTT.

1. The true length of the Brutalist Best Actor speech was reportedly a full 11 months, continuing backstage to the chagrin of organizers. ↩︎