Bob Dylan Wins Nobel Prize in Literature for Predicting the Rapture

Bob Dylan performing newest hit “Rapture in the Wind” at Prince’s Funeral

Press Release.

This morning, Bob Dylan was announced as the winner of the 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature for “having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition,” as well as “using lyrical mastery to predict the Rapture.”

The life-long American lyricist, singer, folk-artist, and recent Evangelical Christian is the first songwriter ever to win the prestigious award as well as the first writer to win primarily due to a single work.  According to an interview conducted after the awards ceremony with Sara Danius, Permanent Secretary of the Swedish Academy, “Dylan’s newest song ‘Rapture in the Wind’ had great impact on the decision.  Of course, his life-long work with American songwriting earned him the prize, but the prophetic brilliance of the language in that particular song pushed him far above the competition.”

The song, which Dylan has most recently performed in tongues before a crowd of die-hard Bernie Sanders supporters, conjures angelic allusions and a haunting rhyme-scheme to draw meaning from the year’s frequent celebrity deaths and propose to the world that the Rapture is upon us.  “It (the song) forces us to ponder our mortality in a way no literature has before, namely as an immediate portal to the mouth of God,” Danius stated.  “It’s a modern-day book of Revelations in 16 lines.”

Bob Dylan joins the league of Nobel Prize recipients who include Winston Churchill, Ernest Hemingway, and Toni Morrison.  “Rapture in the Wind” can be downloaded and enjoyed through prayer at any church confessional.