Local eavesdropper doesn’t get whole story, inadvertently “jumps gun”

Woodstock, IL–Locally known dramatist and “artist of over-reacting” Greg Brown of Woodstock “perhaps jumped the gun” Friday during his shift at Starbucks when he allegedly threw a cup of hot coffee in a customer’s face accompanied with the proclamation: “No, it isn’t true! Harlots! Harlots!” Lizzy Meyer, the singed victim, told reporters on the scene that she and her friend, Harriet, were talking about their friend, coincidentally named Greg, when the horror took place with a spray of liquid pain to the face. “All I said was ‘Greg needs to get his shit together,’ and then the guy freaked out.” Brown, who “to be fair was working a job that could just as easily encouraged scorn,” admitted: “in hindsight, I may have overreacted… I mean, it was probably unlikely that they’d’ve been talking about me, anyway. After all, I wasn’t even wearing my name tag that day.”