McHenry County, IL–A city in McHenry County, Illinois is demanding payment from the wife of Daniel Tinning, the driver of a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle who failed to make payment on a ticket he received over refusing to stop at a red light. Tinning, who reportedly perished in an accident caused by brake failure, has not yet made payment on his ticket in death, which has apparently sparked outrage in city hall and caused the city to request that Tinning’s wife pay on his behalf.” He wasn’t blowing off the red light–his brakes failed!” claimed Tinning’s lawyer, Barry Eagleton. On being informed of Tinning’s tragic passing, which was the result of the vehicle’s brakes failing to engage and sending Tinning into the intersection toward his untimely fate, city officials claim they cannot show any clemency: “What precedent would this set?” Mayor Dan Johnson remarked. “Every schmuck and his grandma would be claiming their brakes failed. It would be ludicrous. Some law and order has to be restored; somebody’s gotta pay for the crime that has taken place.” He went on: “It’s convenient that the defense is claiming bloody murder when we have video footage of Tinning blasting through the intersection!”

-TTT