Gale Edmunson, a recent college graduate finding it hard to get acclimated to the 9-5 grind of professional life, was involved in a tragic fatal car crash Wednesday evening after being seen singing the words to Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” with “earnest vigor.” Coworkers of Edmunson, a recently hired technical writer at an engineering firm in southern Wisconsin, confirmed he had reservations about the 92 minute commute from his Chicago apartment that ate into his mornings by two hours. “We all were supportive and offered to give him suggestions for finding an apartment nearby, but for whatever reason, he didn’t want to,” said Lara Wilson, Edmunson’s coworker, adding: “I think it was the commute that killed him.” Friends of Edmunson confirmed that he was “living in the past, romanticizing youth and refusing to face reality.” Despite having a well-paid job with benefits, Edmunson’s death was no surprise to childhood friend Danny Frito, who considered the accident “selfish, deluded.” Edmunson, who was in the homestretch of his Chicago neighborhood, lost control of his car, which flipped and barrel-rolled several times until it hit a guardrail, burst into flames, and exploded, leaving Edmunson’s body burned nearly beyond recognition. He had just been seen flailing his arms wildly and singing resoundingly, likely calling on the same drunken passion employed by obnoxious karaoke singers. According to crash re-constructionist David Hale, Edmunson likely lost control of his car due to “playing air guitar far too sloppily.” He added: “He was clearly an amateur air guitarist, with little to no discipline.” Hale clarified that it wasn’t the distraction of playing air guitar while driving that led to his demise but rather the “lack of control he had over his musicianship.”

-TTT