LOS ANGELES, CA—The lead singer and band leader of melodic metalcore group, The Ghost Inside, reportedly told fellow band members “It’s over!” on Thursday afternoon, clinging to his I.P. in the form of the band’s name and records worth’s of lyrics as he plans to pursue his entrepreneurial aspirations of starting that nation’s premier toaster company. “It’s time I stop wrecking my vocal cords with all the unprovoked, completely unnecessary yelling and try to finally make something of myself, someone my parents will be proud of and not embarrassed to tell their friends about,” said The Ghost Inside vocalist Jonathan Vigil, who has since 2006 done a lot of yelling, flanked by the intermittent spoken word poetic verse he would recite emphatically over melodic guitar lines that are quickly followed by percussive, high gain, palm-muted “chugging” in open, drop D tuning. “I’m going into the toaster business!” he excitedly exclaimed. “And I have the perfect name, ‘The Toast Inside!’” he said, giddy, to a room of unfazed Thirsty Thespian reporters on the scene. “Get it? It’s like ‘The Ghost Inside’ but with ‘Toast’ in place of ‘Ghost,’ and it’s also a double meaning because it describes the actual toast, which will be inside the toasters that customers buy to heat up their bread and turn into toast.”  

In addition to toasters, Vigil noted that he would also offer a full product line of fine breads with his toaster business’s logo imprinted and that and would become visibly seen when the toasted bread pops out of one of the company’s toasters, revealing “The Toast Inside.” 

At press time, Vigil had told reporters that the prototype of his company’s first toaster was ready for testing and would be known as “Fury and the Fallen Buns,” which Vigil explained “also has a double meaning,” apparently in one part a reference to the singer’s previous band’s first album, Fury and the Fallen Ones, elaborating, “You see, I replaced ‘Ones’ with ‘Buns,’ which is a type of bread, a non-sweet bread roll to be exact, which customers could choose to put in their toaster;” Vigil then explained the model’s “dual meaning,” claiming, “it’s got way more oomph than some of the competitors’ toasters currently available on the market, so in a way, you could say that it furiously will heat up those fallen buns, get it?!”

-TTT.