Press Release.

Montgomery, IL–Jenn George, a college senior and a self-proclaimed Carrie Underwood “groupie,” freely crashed her car into a tree Monday afternoon after nodding off, taking Carrie Underwood’s hit song “Jesus Take The Wheel” literally.
“I don’t know what the f*ck He was so busy with that made him skimp on His driving duties. We had a plan. I was too sleepy, and I told Him, ‘Hey God, take the wheel, won’t you?’ He didn’t literally answer me, but I know He heard me,” George reportedly told reporters. George, a college sophomore and a regular attendee at the Campus Crusaders for Christ, said “it was totally uncool for God to leave me hangin’ and all,” declaring controversially within her campus religious organization that she no longer “believes.” “Smite me down if you have a problem with me–give me a sign,” George apparently yelled out off of her parents’ ritzy 3rd floor balcony before unluckily being struck by lightening. George’s neighbor, Charles Casey, who witnessed the entire episode, commented that “while I’m an atheist, I found the whole experience particularly shocking. As I watched her char like something out of Mad TV, I have to admit I was amused by the irony in the chain of events.”

George’s former preacher, Pastor John Sherry, on hearing about George’s bold statements and misfortune, simply offered the following sentiment: “I really wish Jenn would stop conflating Jesus and His father.”