Written by Handsome Yaalon.

From senility, Thomas Pynchon rambles coherent story to his typist while detained in a New Jersey psychiatric facility.  It would appear, from an unveiled excerpt of the manuscript,  that this might be Pynchon’s most accessible novel yet.

Pynchon, who is perhaps most famous for books including Gravity’s Rainbow and The Crying of Lot 49, which are often described, at mildest, as “difficult to comprehend” and as harsh as “utterly incomprehensible,” has been for many years locked away inside the dank walls of the facility.  Up until this point, he has not spoken a single word to any of the staff, preferring complete isolation.  Pynchon fans from all walks of life have stressed their worries about the future of his literary sensibilities.

Tim Horton, a long-time fan of his less accessible works, states: “I just hope that Tommy doesn’t sell out.  Come on, man, you only got a couple more years left. Stick it out!”

To Horton’s dismay, Pynchon has written a work that critics have applauded as “readable,” a true detective novel reminiscent of Oedipa Maas’s adventure in The Crying of Lot 49, if it had made any sense.

Recent college graduate in English, Mickey Jowls, expressed his excitement at the prospect of finally being able to understand the renowned Pynchon. “Listen, I’ve read Gravity’s Rainbow from back to cover.  That doesn’t mean that I understand it, or that there’s anything there to understand.”

Pynchon Scholar, Dr. Jacques Dáañish, disagrees, stating “You have to escape the ideology to truly grasp the significance of the method of language employed by Pynchon’s stylistic choices!”

Newly hired professor of philosophy Crazy Dave comments that “I read it for the vampire-killing” and “the thrusting which appears in every chapter.”  It is worth noting that Dave’s interpretation is disputed by several schools of literary thought.

Pynchon, speaking of his earlier work, admits in a candid interview: “I was high the whole time.” He goes on to say that this is his most prized accomplishment, though that the process of writing it was accidental, on par with Archimedes, a “moment of clarity.”

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Handsome Yaalon, besides being devilishly handsome and completely irresistibly, is a Greek physicist known for his extreme handsomeness and irregularity of calling romantic interests back.