February 25, 2025February 26, 2025 thirstythespian

Today’s News: Cook Now “Apple,” Musk Unwittingly Slaughters Crowd, Voters Incensed 

February 23, 2025 thirstythespian

Meryl Streep Wins Prestigious Award for Clogging Toilet at Airport Hilton  

February 22, 2025 thirstythespian

Reinforcing Sweeping DEI Cuts, Trump Bans Female Gender, Non-White Races

February 20, 2025February 20, 2025 thirstythespian

J.D. Vance caught passionately “gaming” in White House Rec Room: “It’s my SexBox!”

February 19, 2025 thirstythespian

Exclusive Report: KFC is “Getting Out of the Chicken Business!”

February 14, 2025 thirstythespian

Area Diner Not Zoned for Saganaki Goes Up in Flames

February 14, 2025 thirstythespian

Meta rebrands to “AI” 

February 14, 2025 thirstythespian

“Innovative” Tool Company Unwittingly Losing Talent to Nondescript Small Businesses  

January 30, 2025January 30, 2025 thirstythespian

Area High School Cheater Outraged That Essay He Plagiarized Re-Plagiarized 

May 21, 2023 thirstythespian

Recently hired salesman Jared Leto will send you dead rat for “15 minutes of your time”