Author: thirstythespian
The Thirsty Thespian is a satirical news outlet for film, music, and local events. Our mission is to provide trusted commentary on matters of the mundane and insane, discussion of the latest current events in the big world of entertainment to confirmation of the gossip one hears in small-town coffee shops. Our thousands of staff writers from all corners of the globe, educated at some of the finest journalism schools, are eager to share their poignant criticisms with the clever masses.
Busy Juggalo Marketer Misidentifies Company’s “ICP”
“Gimme my Oscar or Samwise Gamgee gets it,” says Chalamet, puzzlingly taking Sean Astin hostage
Jackson Hole motorcycle enthusiast and movie review show host demands local business “Make Hog Viral”
Adrien Brody reportedly still giving post-Oscar speech alone backstage
BREAKING: Scientists pleasure themselves to pictures of Uranus
Mike White in talks with “Skyrizi Tambourine Guy” for Origin Story in Next Season of White Lotus
Today’s News: Cook Now “Apple,” Musk Unwittingly Slaughters Crowd, Voters Incensed
Meryl Streep Wins Prestigious Award for Clogging Toilet at Airport Hilton
The Thirsty Thespian 