MILES CITY, MT—An “OG” Juggalo-turned marketing professional reportedly misidentified his company’s “ideal customer profile (ICP)” in the “group chat” for an account-based marketing (ABM) bootcamp hosted by HubSpot, a Boston-area SaaS company who sells software for marketing, sales, and customer service functions. Ronald “Ronni” Chestbumpinski, Jr. III, who currently works for Miles City-based manufacturer of beer casks, MC Keggers, LLC,  in the role of Senior Marketing Specialist, was instructed by his boss to enroll in HubSpot’s account-based marketing bootcamp because the company largely focuses on a select group of stadiums to sell its kegs to, fitting the “ABM” mold quite well. 

“I see a lot of promise in Ronni, and see him taking on more responsibilities at MC Keggers, so I encouraged him to get ABM-certified,” said Senior Director of Growth Marketing Jesse Jamison. 

Ronni, who spent his formative high school years as a Juggalo (the term for enthusiastic fans of the Detroit-based hip hop group, Insane Clown Posse), unexpectedly found himself, years following his high school “Juggaloing,” having evolved into a career-focused Millennial. His life abruptly changed when he reluctantly enrolled at Miles Community College, and later Montana State University-Billings, on the insistence of his parents who, to Ronni’s dismay, are primarily fans of 1960s-1980s era rock groups like The Beatles and Fleetwood Mac. “Juggle-NO,” Chestbumpinski said in response to whether his parents had an influence on his taste in music. 

Now years into his marketing career, Chestbumpinski finds himself conflicted: “I got important at work, and it’s messing with my social life.” Still showing up to work dressed in full Juggalo face paint and a suit and tie, Chestbumpinski has ascended from Marketing Coordinator to Senior Marketing Specialist, a role where he regularly attends HubSpot’s INBOUND conference, and has supplemented his undergraduate education with specialized Executive Education programs from the nation’s most elite universities. “It’s a lot to Juggalo,” you know,” Chestbumpinski told Thirsty Thespian reporters, who had to clarify if Chestbumpinski meant “juggle.” He reportedly did.

Chestbumpinski, who leads digital marketing strategy and growth at MC Keggers, also began an advanced marketing seminar at Cornell University in addition to multiple online classes (e.g., UX Design Fundamentals, Intro to CRO, and Project Management Basics), when he was encouraged to take the ABM bootcamp by his manager. “I figured I’d go to the weekly meetings for it, but brush up on what was covered and do the assignments on the weekends,” Chestbumpinski relayed. “So, naturally, when I saw the first week’s group chat prompt, I knew I was gonna nail it!” 

“Post a tool or method you use to help identify your ICPs in the Group Chat thread,” read the course reminders. Chestbumpinski, who had “admittedly only listened in on the first course video passively,” took to the group chat: “One tool I use to identify our ICP is Spotify, to find the Posse’s catalog and listen while I’m crushing marketing reports in Excel,” Chestbumpinski confidently wrote, apparently misinterpreting the “ICP” acronym before going on to add: “Another tool I use is Shazam, if it’s an ICP song I’m not familiar with.” He clarified to TTT reporters. “That doesn’t happen, though, between you and me. I’m a friggen Juggalo lifer!”  

“I figured I was going above and beyond,” Chestbumpini said. “They asked for one tool, and I named two!” With a slightly raised eyebrow, Chestbumpinski scrolled through his classmate’s threads, sharing his screen with TTT reporters to clarify his surprise: “None of these jamokes even came anywhere close to the right answer. What the hell? Have these pocket-protector-wearing nerds even heard a single ICP song?”

The expression on Chestbumpinski’s face, who signed his discussion post with, “Juggalo fo lyfe!”, changed when TTT reporters observed one of the instructors respond to Chestbumpini’s thread in real time: “When we say, ‘ICP,’ we mean ‘ideal customer profile,’ sorry, should have clarified!” 

“Aw, shit!” Chestbumpini exclaimed. “Fucking ‘ideal customer profiles,’” Chestbumpinski added at press time. “How do they work?” When asked what he meant, Chestbumpinski expounded, responding to his instructor’s correction: “I don’t wanna hear from you so-called ‘marketers.’ Ya’ll motherfuckers lyin’, and getting me pissed!” 

-TTT.