PITTSBURGH, PA—a Pittsburgh-based, multinational conglomerate – self-professed as “the most respected manufacturer” of B2B “commercialization” solutions for the trades – on Friday realized and made public in a shareholders’ meeting that their talent pipeline was currently under attack by nondescript small businesses. 

Pittsburgh Resources Innovation Company & Klatsch (NYSE: PRICK), known colloquially as “Pittsburgh Resources” or “Pitt Resources,” is a relatively new company that launched during the pandemic, though it has risen in name recognition, attributable to its IPO in 2021. The company’s “ticker” symbol with the New York Stock Exchange is “PRICK,” not to be confused with the vulgar word for male sex organ (the biological name being “penis”) or pejorative term used to refer to a “despicable or contemptible individual.”

Unfortunate double entendres in the company’s stock symbol notwithstanding, Pittsburgh Resources has since become a household name, competing against companies like Stanley Black & Decker, Robert Bosch Company, and even Panasonic.

Its main product is a “Selfie Stick Drill,” which as the name suggests, attaches a selfie stick to a drill; unlike traditional selfie sticks, however, Pitt’s Selfie Stick Drill, the MAX-FUME™ NEXT-GEN SELFIE PRO MAX 2 w/ POWER-EDITZ™ is an integrated, high-performance, purpose-built solution specifically engineered for a subset of Gen Z who is considering a career in the trades (representative of 55% of gen Zers) as well as the 57% of Gen Zers who want to be influencers. 

“There’s an untapped market,” read a press release by Pitt Resources in 2021. “There’s a real need for content creating tradespeople who need purpose-built, high-tech solutions that perfectly marry content capture and a tradesperson’s installation within the same workflow, seamlessly connecting the action of performing a job with in-the-moment content production that will resonate with an audience and not piss off their boss for goofing off on company time.” 

The resulting product featured:

• High-Definition, Production-Quality Camera with Low Latency, to capture cinematic-like video capture ready to post to TikTok
• Inbuilt Gyroscope, to allow the camera to orient in any position
• Dual-Action Trigger, a simple-to-use switch that allows users to seamlessly switch between drilling and selfie-taking
• “Safety-First Mode,” enabled by default, which leverages a machine learning algorithm that will prevent dangerous events like kickback and dislodged screws flying into the periphery or toward the operator due to careless, distracted operation when filming TikTok content and not focusing on one’s installation 
• Built-in LED Ring Light, to ensure photos and video are properly lit in low-lit environments (like behind toilets, under sinks, in crawl spaces, etc.)
• Bluetooth Connectivity auto-syncs drill capture directly to one’s phone
• Auto-Edit (available with a $50/month subscription to the Pitt+ video suite) leverages generative AI to automatically edit videos captured, add production-quality music, transitions, and TikTok-worthy commentary baked with rich virality

Company Hits Unexpected Brick Wall in Talent Retention

Despite all the company had going for it, it has nonetheless hit a brick wall with regard to attracting “the best and brightest,” which TTT reporters were told was a high organizational priority going into Q1 of 2024. 

The company, who prides itself on its “innovative ideas, entrepreneurial spirit, and high-performance talent,” was nonetheless at odds with its employees when, seeing many companies forcing workers to return to the office in some shape or form, launched their own “RTO strategy,” the “back-to-business & common sense” initiative. 

TTT reporters were able to access an internal survey of employee sentiment regarding this initiative, which was overwhelmingly polarizing. Complaints raised by employees focused on the one-size-fits-all approach not working, in particular among high-performing teams who have proven to be successful in a remote work environment. These teams were unhappy being held to the same standard as laggards. One employee who even purchased a house further away from the office during the pandemic, and was allowed to continue working remotely for some time following the pandemic, was told to return to the office (commute the longer distance, sell house and move closer, etc.) five days a week or be terminated.

And despite evidence showing how remote work actually improves worker productivity by 13% (source: Stanford University study) and studies that show that workers empowered with the choice to pick the work model that works for them becoming 14x less likely of quitting, Pitt Resources nonetheless has remained committed to their “back-to-business” and self-professed “common sense” initiative. The company has reportedly hemorrhaged talent, such as most of its digital marketing team. This team was ruthlessly, emotionlessly notified they had six months until they had to be in the office five days a week – six months later, they had lost about 40% of that team. 

Taken off-guard, one VP of Marketing asked an outgoing Marketer why he had chosen to leave: 

“It was the RTO policy,” he said with immediacy, no need to reflect. “Remember when you told me that there were no exceptions to the RTO policy, and how I told you that was going to be very tough, and it likely wasn’t going to work for me?” 

“Yes, I do,” the VP recalled. 

“I was serious then, and serious now.” 

“Oh.” 

“Were you honestly surprised by this? I told you that rigid policy wasn’t going to work for me.” 

“I guess I’m just disappointed. You’ll be missing out on our great culture that we have, here in Pittsburgh, in this wonderful office we just built as a testament to our culture.” 

Many exchanges like these were had by outgoing employees, TTT is told. 

And internal HR data notwithstanding, many of the senior leaders have found themselves flatfooted, in disbelief, that anyone would choose to leave the company and the culture they had worked so tirelessly to erect. 

“I don’t know what it is,” CEO Seymour Moneybags told TTT reporters in an onsite interview, an interview our team at first resisted and requested to have over Zoom. We were told, however, that there were no exceptions, and in a commitment to getting the scoop, and despite aviation hazards caused by the current Presidential Administration, we put a TTT reporter (the one whose life we valued the least) in jeopardy to fly to Pittsburgh and get the full story: 

There was a weak, shakiness to Moneybags’ tone as he visibly shook with palpable perspiration. 

“We’ve lost 12% of our mid-level talent (a number that’s quickly growing), and it’s the strangest thing. It’s not to the big names like you’d think, to Black & Decker, to Bosch. It’s to totally ordinary, unremarkable companies, and these companies aren’t even obsessed with the trades or manufacturing disruption. They’re mom-and-pop grocery stores, they’re tiny, privately owned marketing companies who specifically cater to small businesses, not major brands like us. Why would these highly skilled employees we fought tooth-and-nail to get and retain leave us for such nobodies? It doesn’t make any sense!”  

In fact, it’s part of a wider trend. Companies who prioritize flexibility, even smaller, lesser-known companies can in fact be more attractive to employees than a big-named brand with an obsession for forcing their employees into a rigid in-office policy that fails to align with their work/life balance needs.

Moneybags, just a year prior, had addressed the entire company in the extravagant auditorium they had just erected in their newest, secondary headquarters within 15 miles of their main headquarters, intentioned to “attract a younger generation of savvy, city dwelling engineers to picturesque Pittsburgh.” The building, which they overpaid for, had been all but demolished to renovate into an architectural style that more accurately paid homage to their own corporate identity. In his speech then, Moneybags boldly claimed:

“We’re not just a trade-focused commercialization consulting company. We’re a technology solution company, and to that end, we’re not just fighting against companies like Black & Decker, Bosch, Festool, Skil – the usual suspects – for the best talent in the business. We’re fighting for the best engineering minds from the likes of Apple, Amazon, Tesla, Facebook, and so on.” 

TTT was able to confirm also that, despite these bold claims, compensation packages are not competitive to the same degree as the highly lucrative tech companies (many of whom who also require fully onsite working arrangements, but we’re told offer unbeatable add-ons while being located in attractive locations like Cupertino, California or Seattle, Washington. In other words, not drab Pittsburgh).   

At press time, when asked why someone at Apple might walk away from their lucrative pay, benefits-rich “total reward” package, and ocean view to join Pittsburgh Resources on a lower salary (that doesn’t keep up with inflation) and middling benefits package in a bleak Midwest setting, Moneybags stared blankly back. “Because they’d be joining a world-class brand, the iconic Pittsburgh Resources Innovation Company & Klatsch.” 

-TTT.